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|  Dhananjaya D R                   @/logs   @/software   @/resume   @/contact |
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What I am up to these days?
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[1] Find love in secondhand jackets and leather bound notebooks. find love 
    in the hot static air that hits you as the train goes by. find love in each 
    pigeon that flies over my head and busking dreamers.

[2] Go on drives for hours to different neighborhoods and watch kids play 
    basketball and couples go on dates and watch dogs chase each other in the 
    park and the old man giving bread to the pigeons.

[3] Buy a cup of tea and I don’t drink it too fast. let the warmth radiate to my
    hands, and slowly fade away watch the steam rise from the top like a smoking
    zone in the office with a bunch of regretful smokers, and force myself to 
    drink the cold and bitter remains.

[4] Grab my watercolors and paint on the walls of my room, watch as the paint 
    runs down and the picture so clear in my head becomes a watery mess. feel 
    ashamed because I will never be an artist and will never be able to 
    translate how I am feeling into something beautiful.

[5] Lay on the floor every night staring at the ceiling and put on a playlist 
    that reminds me of a party I went to when people still remembered my face.

[6] I wish I could rip my skin off to let it out. let the energy leave my brain
    like a hot air balloon. to send those demons back to hell. I would do 
    anything to feel again. feel something that made sense.

[7] Take a cold shower and try to feel something other than self inflicted 
    heartache and insults and try to feel what I used to feel back before 
    everything melted into vast obscurity.

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